Posted in getting help

A page from my book

I love to share another page of my book, let me know what you think. thanks.

The cameraman pans back to the woman. The other helicopters land, and then men walk up to the woman, bending down before her. The soldiers she knocked out earlier came to and now pointed weapons at her.
“You don’t want to shoot me,” the woman says in a hypnotic voice, “You want to serve me.”
As if no longer in control of their own thoughts, all but three soldiers lower their weapons and move to kneel before her. The remaining kept their aim, ready to fire. The woman nods to the man she just changed, and he charges the disobedient men, forcing them to turn their aim to him instead. Their weapons go off, ripping holes through the man as he charges until they have to load in another clip. Eventually, the creature falls, full of holes which spill black blood into a pool around him.
Turning back to the woman, the soldiers are faced with a sea of men pointing their weapons back at them, ordering them to drop their guns. They no longer had a choice in the matter, and they were almost out of ammo anyway.
The woman walks toward the men and looks down at her creature. “I need to replace him,” she says as she grabs one of the soldiers, feeding on him.
The remaining soldiers jump toward their weapons, hoping to defend themselves. Before the man loses consciousness, the woman stops and drops him to the asphalt. She walks toward the soldiers, who tremble as they point their guns at her. They open fire, but it does nothing to stop her. When she reaches them, the woman snatches the weapon out of one of their hands and snaps it in two like it was only a pencil.
Tossing the broken gun aside, the woman laughs. “Don’t you know by now that your puny weapons can’t stop me. Not even your gunship helicopters were able to stop me.”
She grabs one of the men in front of her and feeds on him with only her hands, stopping in time to transform the man into one of her obedient creatures. The woman stands and looks to her already transformed creature, then points straight at the camera.
The dutiful creature stalks toward Tim and his cameraman. At first, he walks slower than a normal man, but then he jumps high and long, landing just before the fence. Instead of jumping again, the creature rips open the metal fence.

Ps let me know what you think I could do to make it sound better, thanks



I am a part time gamer ,married,and a newbie writer. also this is my first real blog. If you want to know something about me just ask.

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